Flashbacks
Snow, Tea, and Flashback
Snow, Tea, and Flashback
"The misery will never end"
"The misery will never end"
Sitting next to the window, I opened it slightly. A strong, cold wind carrying snow stung my cheek. I remembered what Van Gogh said to Theo: “This misery will never end.”
Whether it’s daily life or the traumas we’ve endured, looking towards the end of everything, we realize that Van Gogh was right. Everything around us is an unending misery.
A video from one of my favorite bloggers, whom I like to call the modern philosopher, Jason Silva, begins with this statement…
There’s a great essay written by Sigmund Freud called on transience. And in it, he cites a conversation he had with poet Rilke as they were walking along this beautiful garden. And at one point, Rilke looked like he was about to tear up, and Freud said:
– What’s wrong? It’s a beautiful day. There are beautiful plants around us. This is magnificent!
And then Rilke says:
– Well, I can’t get over the fact that one day all of this is going to die. All these trees, all these plants, all this life is going to decay. Everything dissolves in meaninglessness when you think about the fact that impermanence is the real thing. Perhaps the greatest existential bummer of all is entropy.
I often reflect on that. Indeed, life is replete with disappointments. Even as we cherish beautiful moments with family, friends, and loved ones, we are acutely aware that one day, all of this will vanish and transform.
Yet, we choose to feign forgetfulness, so as not to tarnish that beauty.
But the question arises: Is it beneficial for us to be fully conscious and philosophical about this reality? Wouldn’t it be preferable to live in the moment and bolster our survival instincts rather than succumb to depressive thoughts?
What about self-analysis? Being self-aware? Acknowledging our fears and confronting them? Where do the answers lie amidst all this?
I recall the moment terrorists invaded our home, handcuffed my father, yelled at my mother, and decided to abduct my father and me. My mother’s screams still echo in my ears: “He’s just a teenager.” One of them chose to slap me after his accomplice advised against kidnapping me. That man knew, on that day, he granted me a chance to live. After four days of searching hospitals, we discovered my father in the mortuary. They had shot him in the head and discarded his body by the roadside, just a few kilometers from our home.
Realizing I had been given another chance, I believed it occurred for a reason—a reason I later lost faith in after enduring discrimination and cruelty within the tribal society I inhabited.
Now, as I sit in a different city, home, country, with different weather, language, society, and culture, I thought I had overcome that trauma and left it behind. Yet, challenges come in various forms and degrees of difficulty.
Understanding that survival necessitates facing harsh realities, harsh weather, and harsh life, one grasps that misery is unending. We are destined to suffer. And while suffering’s definition and interpretation vary across societies, cultures, and individuals, it could be nothing more than a state of mind, with a path to transcendence.
I will write more… For now, I conclude with Jason Silva’s closing words, where he declares his intention to perpetuate that beauty indefinitely, whatever “forever” may signify to him, in the video he shared.
I will not let go. I do not accept the ephemeral nature of this moment. I’m going to extend it forever. Or at least, I’m going to try.
Whether it’s daily life or the traumas we’ve endured, looking towards the end of everything, we realize that Van Gogh was right. Everything around us is an unending misery.
A video from one of my favorite bloggers, whom I like to call the modern philosopher, Jason Silva, begins with this statement…
There’s a great essay written by Sigmund Freud called on transience. And in it, he cites a conversation he had with poet Rilke as they were walking along this beautiful garden. And at one point, Rilke looked like he was about to tear up, and Freud said:
– What’s wrong? It’s a beautiful day. There are beautiful plants around us. This is magnificent!
And then Rilke says:
– Well, I can’t get over the fact that one day all of this is going to die. All these trees, all these plants, all this life is going to decay. Everything dissolves in meaninglessness when you think about the fact that impermanence is the real thing. Perhaps the greatest existential bummer of all is entropy.
I often reflect on that. Indeed, life is replete with disappointments. Even as we cherish beautiful moments with family, friends, and loved ones, we are acutely aware that one day, all of this will vanish and transform.
Yet, we choose to feign forgetfulness, so as not to tarnish that beauty.
But the question arises: Is it beneficial for us to be fully conscious and philosophical about this reality? Wouldn’t it be preferable to live in the moment and bolster our survival instincts rather than succumb to depressive thoughts?
What about self-analysis? Being self-aware? Acknowledging our fears and confronting them? Where do the answers lie amidst all this?
I recall the moment terrorists invaded our home, handcuffed my father, yelled at my mother, and decided to abduct my father and me. My mother’s screams still echo in my ears: “He’s just a teenager.” One of them chose to slap me after his accomplice advised against kidnapping me. That man knew, on that day, he granted me a chance to live. After four days of searching hospitals, we discovered my father in the mortuary. They had shot him in the head and discarded his body by the roadside, just a few kilometers from our home.
Realizing I had been given another chance, I believed it occurred for a reason—a reason I later lost faith in after enduring discrimination and cruelty within the tribal society I inhabited.
Now, as I sit in a different city, home, country, with different weather, language, society, and culture, I thought I had overcome that trauma and left it behind. Yet, challenges come in various forms and degrees of difficulty.
Understanding that survival necessitates facing harsh realities, harsh weather, and harsh life, one grasps that misery is unending. We are destined to suffer. And while suffering’s definition and interpretation vary across societies, cultures, and individuals, it could be nothing more than a state of mind, with a path to transcendence.
I will write more… For now, I conclude with Jason Silva’s closing words, where he declares his intention to perpetuate that beauty indefinitely, whatever “forever” may signify to him, in the video he shared.
I will not let go. I do not accept the ephemeral nature of this moment. I’m going to extend it forever. Or at least, I’m going to try.
Sources: Existential bummer, Jason Silva. Click here to watch.